Managing Worries and Negative Emotions

• Learn to change your emotions by changing your thoughts
Perhaps the reason why cognitive therapy is very effective in helping people address anxiety and other behavioural disorders is because it is centred on changing one’s perspective. Your behaviour is the product of your mind. If you have negative thoughts, it will reflect on your actions. In cognitive behavioural therapy, the rational part of the cortex is trained to take control of the irrational part of the limbic system. Remember, human beings feel before they think. By strengthening the cortex’s natural ability to manage emotions, we can actually change how we feel even before it affects our behaviour. Many people think that the only way to change the brain chemistry is through medication. But the brain is more powerful than what we think it is. 

• Instead of focusing on the negative, give more attention to the positive possibilities
Eliminate an energy-draining habit called terribilizing (the act of envisioning terrible catastrophe) and focusing on possibilizing (giving emphasis to positive possibilities). For example, instead of worrying about the bills and visualising losing your home and other properties, focus on the possible ways to get enough funds to settle your financial issues. When you let worries take control of your brain, it is less likely that you will be able to think of strategies to resolve the problems at hand.

• Examine your irrational beliefs and eliminate them.
Most worries that plague us are none but irrational beliefs. For instance, you might be worried of pursuing your application to study in a prestigious university because you believe that you are not intelligent enough to pass the admission test. Maybe you have tried this before and you did not pass that’s why you fell into the belief that you can’t make it. But did you fail the last time because you are not intelligent or is it because you did not have enough time to review and prepare for the exam? By eliminating those irrational beliefs, you are giving yourself more chance to maximise your potential.

 

Just because worrying is hard-wired in our brain, doesn’t mean we can no longer do something to eliminate, if not reduce it. When taken with caution, worrying can be an essential tool that will keep you protected from life’s perils. Here is the second installment of some things you can do to manage your worries and some other negative emotions:

• Redefine your concept of “perfection”
Who doesn’t want to live a perfect life? No worries, just pure happiness. No hardships, just comfort. No hatred, just love. But no matter how many times we wish for it to happen, there is no such thing as a “perfect” life. Bad things happen just like good things do. Sometimes we’re on top, sometimes not. Sometimes we get what we wanted, sometimes we fail. By knowing that life is a complex process, it will be easier to accept disappointments and frustrations. Instead of feeling bad about them, learn from them.

• When making important decisions, try to set aside your emotions
Most trial lawyers succeed by appealing to the emotions of the jurors to free their clients from criminal liabilities despite the weight of evidence against them. In ordinary life situations, it is easy to say and do things in the heat of an argument. But often, we end up regretting our actions. The more you can separate your emotions when making decisions, the better choices you will make.

• Learn to overcome feelings of anger, anxiety, or guilt
These powerful negative emotions intensify our worries. They make us more disoriented, preventing us from making sound decisions. There are mental exercises such as yoga and mindfulness meditation that train our brain to cope with negative emotions. Another way to overcome these negative emotions is to harness the positive ones that counter them. For instance, developing the value of forgiveness makes you overcome anger and guilt while learning how to relax counters the effects of anxiety.

• Don’t hesitate to seek help
If we can only take control of our cortex in a snap of the finger, there will be no need for cognitive therapists who spent years studying the brain. These people can help you see things in a different perspective. They can design a program that specifically addresses your needs.

I hope these tips are of use to you and I look forward to hearing from you soon!

We offer many well-being and massage treatments and training in Southampton, including reflexology, reiki, meditations, chakra balancing, and emotional freedom technique. Please contact us for more details.

Best wishes, Steve